I’ve been having a bit of a think since I posted about my social media savvy encounter, and I realized that I certainly hadn’t come to terms with the reality of the current situation – especially given that I started uni with the facebook age.
In fact, one of my first dates in college was with a lovely Irish Boston boy who I met at a party. I gave him my number, but he asked me out via facebook. The girls on my freshman floor were invaluable as we discussed whether a facebook date proposition was valid or not. We decided that in the interest of me having a date (rather than not), we would allow it. So off I went with my fellow f-book freshman. The resulting evening was fairly entertaining, but that’s a story for another time.
The reason this particular topic has sparked my interest is because I’ve only now noticed the way that social media has played an active role in my day to day dating: doing everything from helping, hindering and creating a bit of daily drama. I’m big on leading by example – so please, see below for some of my own experiences and for Pete’s sake share a few of your own!
Example #1: “I need some ‘cyber’ space”
I’ll go ahead and wrap up a little loose end and explain the social media related downfall of Manly Boy. For those of you who’ve read some previous entries, you may recall that I was a little worried about the over-eager Manly Boy and how quickly he was trying to move – from zero to married in 2 dates flat. Well, in the interest of spared feelings and fair shots at the happy ever after, I decided to let the pending relationship linger in limbo and give him a chance to cool his jets before deciding to end it. After a bit of contact-less time last week, rather than catching the hint and taking a step back, he sought me out – in cyber space. Now here’s the deal. Fbook is fine. For me it’s the standard network of acquaintances. We were already friends. So no weirdness there. But next came Twitter… awkward because my personal twitter is typically reserved for people that I don’t gossip about. If he’s following me, I can’t post things like “Ack – crazy Manly Boy is freaking me out!” So in my world a twitter request was pushing the envelope, but I suppose still fair game and not technically creepy. Then there was LinkedIn. I mean really? I kind of forgot I was on there before you found me – how strangely obscure. And foursquare . . . which I had only been on for like four seconds when he requested the connection! Then lastly, YouTube. Yes, I’m in a friends film from college that I don’t particularly like the world to know about, but he sufficiently stalked my friend and then looked through her THIRTY-TWO videos to find the one I’m in – which alphabetically is quite far down her video list.
Oh, and he googled the company I work at, found my work email, and used it when I didn’t respond on my personal email – which I know isn’t technically social media, but it’s simply a bit internet creepy.
Moral of the story – we all know the resources are there. That doesn’t mean you have to use them.
Example #2: Social Media is similar to US Weekly
Remember when AIM and all other forms of instant messaging first started? I was probably around 11 when I got my first screen name. It also brought about my first big fight with a girl at school. Why? Because typing shows no emotion and sarcasm gets taken as the truth.
Funny, about ten years later I had the same problem with a now previous boyfriend.
Now my first mistake with this one was a little too much access. We had spent the summer together, and I had gotten my new mac. Being a mac geek – something I found endearing at the time – he set it up for me. With that, he got my password… which happens to the password I use for everything. So he had full access to my fbook account. I wasn’t too worried about it. We were pretty honest with each other. So I didn’t have much to hide.
Until I went for my semester abroad. . . while he stayed home.
Fbook was the death of us. Not that anything actually happened, but I’m a guys girl. There were pictures of me dancing with my guy friends, stupid little joke messages between me and my guy friends, and pictures of me traveling with my guy friends. Even things as platonic as messages discussing flight plans for Spring Break became an issue . . . What finally did it? A picture of me joking around for the camera by pretending to be the co-ed on EuroTrip – which involved me slumped against one of my guy friends in a bar. Of course that picture meant I was cheating on him . . .
Just like any picture of Brad without Angelina means divorce.
Lesson to be learned? Seeing as I have over 1000 pictures tagged of me on Facebook, I think it’s safe to say they aren’t worth 1000 words. And please, don’t go looking for God given proof of infidelity via anyone’s latest facebook album.
Example #3: Perhaps foursquare is best left on the playground
I just went to a movie a bit ago. Recently I’ve become addicted to foursquare. So I checked in, saying that I was at the movie theater (go see Get Him to the Greek). My check-ins get shared on Twitter and Facebook. Tad, the one who spurned what is now becoming a rather lengthy entry about social media, sent me a text not long after . . . “How’s the movie?”
Do I really need to explain why Foursquare is creepy? Unless we’re on a date, you shouldn’t know where I am . . . or at least you shouldn’t comment on it.
That being said, we all know I’ll keep using it. Though it means nothing, I want to be a mayor.
Example #4: Not all bad
Obviously I’ve ranted about those who have crossed the fine line of socially media acceptable. I’m sure I’ve been at fault as well. However, I at least get to cap off my examples/rant with a positive little tid bit that I hope turns out well.
As a twenty something out of uni and into the adult world, I find a frequent complaint amongst friends is how hard it is to meet people – this includes those seeking significant others and those just seeking some friends. I agree with my cohorts. We’re outside the realm of “What’s your name?” on the first day of school. So it all takes a bit more effort.
In addition, life moves so quickly ,and people are so busy that you can meet someone and off they go long before you snag a number – not to mention the fact that no one even has home numbers anymore and everyone screens their cell phones.
So thank God for facebook.
A few entries ago, I put my dibs on a certain blonde trapeze instructor. It was figurative at the time, but in case there was any confusion – DIBS!
After our first encounter at a speed dating/activity event, I was particularly intrigued. In between chatting up the singles I was supposed to meet and landing my first knee hang catch, we found we had quite a bit of common interests. He was really easy to talk to . . . and he looks good in tights (which I admit I never would have thought of as a plus, but trust me it is).
Unfortunately, I didn’t really get anywhere with him. I think that whole student instructor thing got in the way. I wasn’t really willing to be very forward – a decision I regretted when I got home that night.
I decided I didn’t really have another choice. So online I went. A few quick clicks on Facebook led me straight to his profile and I sent him a message.
No response . . . for ages. F! I crossed the line . . . but then there was yesterday.
Turns out he’s not like the rest of us who check our profiles 12 times a day. So he’d just signed on for the first time in weeks, and messaged me back.
So I got my response. I got my date, and I guess I have my final say about social media.
It does cause me a bit of drama. It does get a bit weird, but apparently it can also get me a date. So I’m fine with it.
